2 parts crazy

Spectators believe we are both wounded.
 walking through the remains of you
stepping on shattered glass,
 stand still and feel blood lick my feet.
 And while I feel drained,
 I smile because you are still here to bandage me.
Its true- Neither of us are whole
 but we push the pieces together
 and this partial puzzle is abstract and beautiful.
The past is now obselete, no longer treading water, no longer idle,
 movement and motion- together we swim the coast
fight the undertow
catch the current and sail
 the sunset rains red and purple down on us
 we are illuminated and perfect.

Missing you

Missing you

The sky is slate

and I am blue

The rain bleeds

A leaking pen

the faucet drips

solitude pounds

the heart pours

its contents aching

misplaced emotions.

A window, 

A view, 

desolate and cold

emptied horizon

eyes laid 

to rest 

fatigue

an ache

creaking bones-

my body

without your body.

the attraction

spend my days thinking of
the tip of your finger pressed to my bottom lip
the drip of blood
your name in the air
my teeth gently on your jugular
being tied to you is
enticing and suffocating
like drowing
like trees killing their leaves
like fireworks
never know when you or i will explode
but its definite
organized chaos feeding off the drama
its freedom
its lust
its every waterfall stored in your mind
my bed is cold
Sleep is interrupted
dreams fragmented and bleak
its me
its my lungs
its my pulse
I'm broken and clinging to the good in you
please come back
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you

People like pretty poetry

Dissolve the miles between us-
Kiss my lips pink
again and again.
Stand next to me-
Stop those incessant fantasies.
Make your prescence my reality.
Feed me a new tale with those
brown eyes-
I want different colors in my
dripping skies.
Keep me safe-
cupped in your large milky hands,
Still bleeding-
I can't take another crack to the heart
Hold me tight with your laughter
while i fall asleep at night
But dont wake me
Because I'm in love and dreaming of all of these lies.

Dear Junior

I need to learn to appreciate the small things in life... but you are so big- A theory, dream, a figment of my imagination. You give me your best and I beat and bruise myself incapable of giving and giving in empty, hollow, and souless I wish I had something to share but I am wounded, flesh scathing in the sunlight, Broken glass across the pavement, a heart beating irregularly. And here you are with your steady hand- My medicine, the pill I will swallow Numb the pain, ease the stress. Even though I am less without you, I can feel myself growing whole, my bones relax, pulse steadies, and muscles hum. I'm telling you I need you, I'm telling you I'm codependant, But I'm whispering that I love you.

For Junior

I watch you close
As morning pulls you from sleeps arms
And in those few waking moments I wonder
If you remember us tangled together
At midnight gripping each others hands
Cheeks flushed with lust—
And when that smile pours across your face
I feel I won’t be forgotten.
Fascinated by your eyes
Black pools of tender tides and loving glances
Lashes kissing one another in a whispering haze
I envy the bed sheets hugging your body
And the pillow cradling your head.
Crawl closer and find you radiating warmth
Filled with the glory of conquering love.
You are a constellation
Connect the dots
They all trace back to your heart beat
Listening while I trace words into your stomach with my finger tip
You are so alive :
Inhale and exhale
And I am aware and thankful of the blood pumping pulse
Echoing in my veins
Tuned into the gratitude that washes over me
And feel as vibrant as the sun streaking through our sleepy morning moment.

Anxiety attack

nxiety slams its foot
On the hearts gas peddle
cackling and cranking that radio full blast
until the bassline beats and bruises the ribs
speeds exceed 60 mph, 90mph, 120 mph
you'd never imagine this type off full throttle.
There you are in the passenger seat fucking helpless while the throat
slams shut like a vault
and whats trapped inside is:
worry, money, low self esteem, pain, lost love, problems, scars, monotony, depression, fatigue, need, broken trust, false promises, suicide, and you are
a vessel of rot, gloom, and darkness trapped, strapped in next to anxiety
a speed demon sucking down newports as wrecklessly as the heart beats whie the head loses grip around of twists and turns until those cliff hugging roads
start to look appealing...
and all of a sudden anxiety is hauling you screaming to the fucking edge, it never used to be like this, and you're reduced to popping little pills that dissolve fast enough to slow down the feeling of flying and dying and then you're reduced to remembering the days when life was simple, when you were ten years old, laying in the sunshine sucking the nectar out of deep purple lilac blossoms, and it was the sweetest taste in the entire world.